How to know that you truly love someone

Love is a mysterious feeling and everyone has their own idea of it. Some say it’s just a chemical reaction in the body, others define it as a strong attachment, others say it’s the ability to sacrifice for the other, and so on. There is also a separate category of people who deny the feeling at all, not believing in its existence.

It turns out that everyone loves and manifests it differently, but everyone sooner or later has doubts about whether it is really love. Let’s try to figure out the signs of how you can tell if you really love someone.

Trying to explain love scientifically

Many scientists have tried to find scientific proof of love and determine how long it can last. Perhaps the most famous theory comes from Frederic Beigbeder, the French novelist and publicist. In his acclaimed book, he argues that love only lives for three years, and explains that this is how long it takes for the body to stop producing the happiness hormones responsible for love.

This theory was taken as a challenge by many scientists and they conducted their own research. In Belgium, for example, they surveyed 200 married women who had been married for more than 5 years. 80% of the respondents admit that they felt absolute happiness only in the first 5 years, when they had no thoughts of divorce. But after the wooden wedding, women’s feelings faded because their husbands stopped caring and showing signs of affection.

U.S. scientists also conducted aThe study, to prove that love has no expiration date. The first part of the experiment involved lovers who were only at the beginning of a relationship. Scientists examined changes in the brain by showing subjects pictures of their mates and saw that their ventral area, which is responsible for joy and pleasure, was activated.

The second part involved people who have been married for 10 to 29 years. They were asked to rate their relationship with their partner on a seven-point scale, and also studied changes in the brain when looking at pictures, which included a photo of their spouse.

The results showed that respondents who rated their relationship as high as possible had the same ventral activity as those who were only at the stage of falling in love. Of course, here we must take into account that the relationship of the second group is not as passionate as the first, but there is a deep affection and calmness.

Such results offer hope that love can indeed be carried through life, provided both work on the relationship.

False Signs

Other expressions of feeling are often mistaken for love, which may even lead to a relationship. Let’s talk about the basics.

Attachment

Long-term relationships often lead to partners getting used to each other and even feeling a certain discomfort when separated.It is an attachment, which differs from true love in that it is at the heart of the relationship:

1. habit;

2. stability (if something goes wrong, there are immediate doubts about whether the partner really loves);

3. Fear of loneliness – not to be alone one partner tries to please the other, hides his feelings, so as not to disappoint him, etc.d.

Do true love is based on honesty and caring about each other, not in order to keep your partner, but because you really want to do something nice for him.

Affection

Most often the relationship begins with a physical attraction, when partners have a sexual interest in each other. But you need to have something to talk about in order to develop. If the intensity of passion flares up only in the bedroom and dies away outside it, it is not love. To talk about real feelings, you need to have not only a physical connection, but also a spiritual connection, common interests and goals.

However, this does not mean that the relationship that began with a fervent passion unpromising. Perhaps they will eventually grow into true love, but it is important that in addition to passion in them were present care and respect for each other.

Friendship

This is the opposite situation, when there are common interests, partners respect and care about each other. But if there is no physical attraction, it’s just friendship, which is unlikely to grow into true love.

Ideally, when all the components coincide – you can talk for hours about everything and still have passion between you. Priceless when your partner is not only a loved one, but your best friend.

Dependence

Love is when the relationship is equal and there is no one-side advantage. And when one partner becomes dependent on the other, it leads to devaluation and lack of progress. Relationships become toxic and unhappy.

If you feel that your mood depends on whether your loved one calls or not, if you are willing to change your plans every time to please him and can not imagine themselves without him – it’s unhealthy relationship that is better to stop to preserve your own personality.

Falling in Love

It is a feeling that always occurs at the beginning of a relationship, and then either grows into true love or disappears. It implies respect for your partner, care for him or her, and physical attraction. But differs from true love is the presence of “rose-colored glasses”, you do not see the flaws of the partner and consider it ideal.

If time passes, and you are able to accept not only his positive qualities, but also negative, we can say that your feelings have grown from infatuation to love.

How to know if you love a person or not

If you doubt whether true love has come into your life, there are different ways to test your feelings.

Take the test

The huge number of tests you can find on the Internet may seem frivolous. In fact, of course, you should not take the result as an immutable truth. But by giving answers to the right questions, you will analyze your relationship and perhaps see something you didn’t see in it before.

Write out the pros and cons

This is one of the most effective and affordable ways to check your relationship to your partner. Take a sheet of paper, divide it into two parts and write the advantages and disadvantages in one part.

If the pluses were more, then you really love your partner, if the minuses prevail – no. And if your list is only advantages, most likely you are in love and can not evaluate your soul mate objectively.

It is important that this task should not be performed after a quarrel or in a bad mood, because you are unlikely to get real results.

The life in which he is no longer there

A rather radical, but effective way to check your feelings – imagine that a loved one is dead. Think about what your life will be like without him, whether you can survive the loss, and whether you can imagine yourself in a new relationship. The results of this analysis clearly show how you feel about the person and how important they are in your life. If you feel pain at these thoughts, and you can’t imagine how you will be without him – that’s love. And if there are no negative feelings, and you even feel relieved, it is unlikely that you are with the right person.

You have made a decision to love

It may sound too rational, but in fact, love is more an action than a feeling. It is a conscious decision that you follow over and over again.

You show love

You are invested in the relationship and put effort into making it grow. For example, you don’t hurt your partner on purpose, you don’t take revenge or manipulate them. You are confident in his and your feelings without having to constantly prove them.

You value your partner’s opinion, take it into account when making decisions. You are supportive, caring and accepting of his care.

You show love even when you don’t want to

It’s easy to love when things are smooth in a relationship.But more telling is how you behave when you’re in an argument or unhappy with your partner:

1. Conflict is a way to find a compromise, not to offend your chosen one;

2. you do not keep score, who apologizes more often and is ready to go to reconciliation;

3. Are ready to hear your partner and not just listen to his speech;

4. Make concessions;

5. Ready to apologize and forgive;

6. Respect your partner even during a quarrel.

How to know if you are loved

Relationships are joyful when partners are on an equal footing and have mutual feelings. If you feel like you’re still together only because of your efforts, that’s something to think about. If you don’t feel that your partner has grown cold toward you, but you are still together, there may still be a chance to return things to the way they were.

Also consider how the partner assesses your shortcomings. If he does not see them, idealizing you and your relationship, most likely, he is at the stage of falling in love, which can end at any time. But no one is perfect and everyone has flaws. So it is very important that the chosen one sees and accepts them – then we can assume that he or she feels true love.

So, the signs you can tell if you are truly loved:

1. Caring. Your partner is there not only when you are in a good mood and everything is going well. You feel his care and support when you feel bad or have some problems. In this case, you can consider that you are truly loved and, most importantly, you can be confident in that person.

2. Tenderness. A loving person treats their soulmate with reverence, often hugs and kisses her. When the relationship is not only a passion, but a similar tenderness, it indicates the depth of feeling.

3. Interest.Your partner shows interest in your life, the events in it. It is not about the routine questions about how the day went, but about sincere interest.

4. Openness.If your partner shares his or her plans and goals with you, it shows trust. In this case, you should not confuse shifting responsibility and openness. If your partner is constantly complaining about their failures and talks only about the negative, it suggests that he is trying to transfer your worries about it. And when they share their intentions and expectations with you, it’s an indicator that your partner sees you in their future.

despite such tools, the best way to understand if you really love your partner, and she loves you, is to listen to yourself and your feelings. And also do not forget that the relationship is a daily work, which must be invested in by both. If you are willing to keep your union and do everything you can to walk through life together – you are on your way to true love, even if at this stage your feelings are not that deep.