Today’s girls themselves are adept at getting into relationships with guys, avoiding stale stereotypes. But if you’re not lucky enough to meet a bold, charming woman, it’s time to take your own happiness. However, having a relationship partner by your side is no guarantee that you will stop feeling lonely. Research by Israeli doctor Eliakim Kislev shows that feelings of loneliness are common among people who are already married. So, to find a person close in spirit and say goodbye to loneliness, you need to make a lot of effort. This article provides more than just tips on where and how to meet a girl. Here you will learn a lot of useful things that will turn your worldview about romantic relationships upside down.
Why you need a girlfriend
Before finding the one and only, you must first work through your own thinking. Think about what you expect from your future girlfriend and what kind of relationship you want to build? What your romantic connection will be based on? What physical, moral, and material resources you are willing to invest in building a harmonious relationship? But the most important question is what motivates you to look for love.
Psychologist Andrei Zberovsky suggested the idea that unmotivated relationships are a deliberate failure. The absence of a clear motive leads to the rapid collapse of the union and the suffering of its participants. The following are the most popular groups of motivators.
Type of motivation | Basic Characteristics of Motive | What does this mean for you? |
Communication motive | 1) Variety of female friends. 2) Socializing with numerous girlfriends rarely led to a relationship. If you have been in a relationship for a long time, you may want to keep your relationship as a friend. | The relationship is a way for you to have fun, meet new people, have fun. They don’t end up being anything serious, but become an interesting life experience. |
Motive of self-affirmation | 1) Low or excessively high self-esteem. 2) Not being choosy or seriously selecting a mate. 3) No ideas about future relationships. 4) Lack of emotional intimacy with girls. | The problem of pernicious motivation lies in deep personal problems. It is advisable to consult a psychologist in order to find inner balance and a healthy view of the relationship. |
Sexual | For a long time, there is a lull in sex life. 2) A clear understanding of what you want. | To find a girl for a one-time relationship, it is necessary to choose appropriate ways of dating. |
Mercantile | 1) A desire to satisfy his needs at the expense of the girl. 2) Searching for a partner with the appropriate connections and material status. | If you find someone who is willing to give you material possessions, then the relationship will work out. |
Social desirability motive | 1) No expressed desire for love. 2) Frequent pressure from acquaintances, relatives with calls to start a family and have children. 3) Desire to please family and friends. | The case when it is already “time to settle down. Suggestible persons are susceptible to this motive. Societal pressures are deeply ingrained in your subconscious, and thoughts of your own desire arise. You must recognize false motivations at the right time, so that you don’t make mistakes. |
Therapeutic | 1) A previous painful breakup. 2) Feeling of emotional pain. 3) Frequent recollection of past loves. 4) Systematic emotional decline. | The desperate search for a new relationship is only a way to heal from suffering. In such a union, it is easy to get into a “triangle of dependence” and to condemn yourself and your partner to severe emotional distress. |
Love and marriage | 1) The presence of ideas of a future partner. 2) The presence of formed views concerning family relations. 3) Physical attraction is expressed along with a desire for emotional connection. | This kind of motivation requires finding a partner who has similar views on creating a relationship, and subsequently, a family. The difference in motives of two people who love each other will eventually lead to a painful breakup. |
Reproductive | 1) An acute desire to have a child. 2) Lack of ideas about future partners (character, appearance, occupation, etc.).d.). 3) Feeling of loneliness combined with an unexpressed desire to find love. | This motivation is more typical for women. But men are also susceptible to it. Relationships based on this motive don’t work out, so it’s best to discuss this point with your partner right away. |
After self-analysis of the motivation of the relationship, improve your understanding of what kind of girlfriend you need, and where to find her.
How and where to find a girl
Portal prosvadbu.su surveyed 458 successfully married couples about where they met.The statistics were divided as follows (graded from a higher percentage to a lower one):
22,1% met in the company of mutual friends. Emotional comfort among familiar people helps you relax and feel more at ease with the person you like. Perhaps that is why acquaintances in a circle of friends most often end up in happy relationships.
21.6% met on the Internet. Here social networks, various thematic publishers and communities, special platforms for searching for the other half, etc. are taken into consideration.d. Shy, reserved people find it easier to make contact indirectly, through correspondence. If in real life a modest girl couldn’t impress you, then on the Net she will open up from new sides.
15.7% met at work. People who are busy with their careers rarely go out for the purpose of making new acquaintances. But romantic connections find them at work. As statistics show, there is a fairly high probability of finding a faithful girlfriend at work.
11.1% at concerts, in clubs, in cafes. A pleasant leisure time is accompanied by a good mood, a feeling of happiness. Dating in these settings creates positive emotional reinforcement. The next time people meet, they experience similar emotions toward each other. Maybe this is the reason why meetings in entertainment venues are so successful.
9.4% met at university. Not a bad chance to find a passionate, interesting and intelligent girl within the walls of a science house. The plus side of meeting at university is the opportunity to learn more about her through observation.
8.6% met at school. An unexpectedly high percentage for high school love. Immature teen relationships are thought to be a way to become adults and gain initial experience with the opposite sex. But as you can see, almost 9 percent of encounters that ended in a happy relationship happened at school.
4.6% met on the street. Not encouragingly low percentage, but if you like a girl a lot, you can try your luck and approach her on the street.
1.9% at friends’ weddings. Romance and general tears of joy, as it turned out, is not a fruitful environment for finding love.
The remaining percentage of cases was due to events that were not typical or statistically significant. Socio-psychological research has helped us understand where to look for a girl to build a happy relationship. But life does not always follow the statistics, so do not be surprised when happiness comes from somewhere you did not expect.
What kind of guys girls like and dislike
If you want a decent girl, you need to match her. Getting to know a relationship candidate should be done with a sober head. An intoxicated man, in most cases, arouses women’s disgust. What other factors will focus a girl’s attention on you in a positive context:
Nice appearance. Neat clothes, clean shoes, a proper hairstyle – in general, “hunting” must go out in the appropriate form. A well-groomed appearance will attract her attention, and this is an occasion to show your other virtues.
A discreet, pleasant scent of perfume. Historically, the sense of smell is one of the important channels for receiving information about a potential sexual partner.
Charming smile.There is such a phenomenon as “reflection of emotion. We repeat gestures and words after the person we like. Smile at the girl, and if she smiles back, it means that an emotional connection has been established between you.
Talk calmly, without being rushed. Fast speech is perceived as a sign of a person with an agile nervous system. Calm, balanced people weigh every word and are not in a hurry to get their point across.
These moments will make her pay attention to you and see what the communication will bring her. Now it is important not to get lost and make your first meeting unforgettable.
How to create a pleasant first impression
It is important to understand that girls are not waiting for perfect princes, they are waiting for the other half, who will be there and support in a difficult moment. If girls choose “bad guys” in school, then growing up, the worldview becomes a mature, formed character. Here are the rules of the first date from the successful practicing psychologist and author of the book “How to make the girl of your dreams fall in love with you” Artem Subbotin:
Create a good impression in the first seconds of acquaintance.Assessment of what a girl sees in you on the first date takes place in the shortest possible time – 7 seconds. The analysis is exposed appearance, mannerisms, facial expressions, smell. A positive conclusion will start a great date.
A good sense of humor.Witty, appropriate jokes will not only cheer up the girl and lift her spirits. A sense of humor helps you go through life easier, and she knows it, too.
Be polite and tactful.Often guys ask inappropriate questions on the first date, scaring the candidate into a relationship. What topics should not be touched upon: financial situation, health, former lovers. Any difficulty in the dialogue may scare away the girl. The first meeting will set the tone for future relationships, so it is important to do everything right at this point.
After the date it is not necessary to be intrusive. You had a great time, said goodbye and went your separate ways. If you want to immediately call her, write her, it is better to refrain. A man’s obsessiveness can be perceived as irritating, and a successful first date won’t save the situation. And look at the back reaction – if she became obtrusive, it is worth correctly pointing out the personal boundaries. Relationships are good when you complement each other, not merge into one.
Conclusion
It is not enough to know where and how to find a girl. Building a healthy, harmonious relationship with the right person takes patience, wisdom and mutual love. But this effort will give you personal happiness, the ability to solve relationship problems constructively, and a sense of harmony with the world around you
